A Community of Crones

 

The other day I met someone, in person, for the first time after knowing her online for about three years. We’d initially met in an online group of writing during the early COVID years, and then, once the course ended, a few of the women branched out and we formed our own small circle, chatting online once a month about all the various topics women talk about.

S (who lives in Calgary) was here in Oakville visiting family and friends, and we got together for a meal at a restaurant. I asked the waitress to take our picture and told her we were seeing each other in person for the first time, after meeting online. “And is she as good-looking as you thought she was?” the waitress asked. I thought it was an odd question (we were obviously both good-looking women), but I played along. “Even better,” I said. A few moments later, it struck me: the waitress thought we were a romantic duo on a date! S and I laughed and laughed and then talked some more.

When one says, ‘we met online’, people immediately think - dating apps. But there is so much more to online connections. We’re older women whose online connections run to creating strong networks and relationships between women who encourage and support each other, delight in each other’s company, conversations, reflections. But when a woman says ‘we met online’, people don’t think: in a writing group, a reading group, a women’s conversation group. Society is geared towards thinking – if they’re single women and they’re online, well then, they must be looking for a romantic partner!

But we’re not. We’re finding and creating a community. A community of crones if you will. The word ‘crone’ was once negatively associated with old wizened hags who live alone, but just as cat lady is having a resurrection, the word ‘crone’ is as well.

From Wikipedia: crone is also defined as a "woman who is venerated for experience, judgment, and wisdom”. 

And from The WordCounter: “The crone is now seen as a symbol of feminine wisdom, resilience, and the transformative power of aging. She represents the integration of all aspects of the feminine experience, from the innocence of the maiden to the nurturing power of the mother. The crone reminds us that beauty exists in all stages of life, and that aging is a natural and transformative process.”

S and I tucked into our meal and laughed and talked, and then we talked and laughed some more.