WAITING ROOM THOUGHTS and CAFE TALKS

 

Waiting Room Thoughts:

The other day I was in a medical waiting room. Anticipating a long wait, I took a book with me and settled in for a read. The room was full of people, shifting and shuffling in their chairs, every one of them on their phones, even the toddler, who abandoned his screaming as soon as his mom handed him her phone. Couldn’t blame her, I’d likely have done the same; trying to tame toddlers in a public space is no easy feat. 

There was a BIG sign on the wall to turn cellphone volumes off as a courtesy to others. But, as people were called in for their procedures, and others took their place on the seats beside me, four of them were watching something on their phones, volumes on, no earphones.

Okay now don’t get me started on people who have their phone volumes on in public places like waiting rooms and trains where we’re in a confined space with no escape. I don’t want to be one of those older people who complain about the rude behaviour of others, but maybe that horse has already left the barn. I tried to breathe and examine why this particular behavior was causing me so much irritation when really, there was so very much worse out there in the world – raging fires in LA, the man south of the border yammering on about Canada becoming the 51^st state (“not a snowball’s chance in hell” in the words of our soon-to-be ex PM and that’s Prime Minister not “Governor”).  So why were these small actions of the people sitting around me annoying me so much? I had my book, I could try to tune them out. I tried, but not very successfully.

Café Talks:

I met a couple of writerly friends for coffee and cake. Our conversation was wide and varied, from books to writing to why we travel to how very young girls (one of my companion’s granddaughters included) are obsessed with Sephora, all of them trying for the same type of look where you can’t tell them apart. Or were we just old ladies once again bemoaning the incomprehensible actions of others. And, was it true that the perception of aging was (finally) slowly shifting in our favour, and claiming your age and greying hair was now in fashion?

Then one of my two companions mentioned some authority suggesting labels on wine bottles, warning us the contents are carcinogenic. And we wondered if we are ‘regulating ourselves out of the enjoyment of life’.  These days it’s hard to know how to strike a balance between being informed and being inundated with news and rules and opinions.

When we do not understand why others behave the way they do (pubescent girls slathering on face creams and makeup; people in public with their phone volumes on; powerful men ranting about claiming other countries), how do we respond, if at all? We cannot decide whether to tune them out or lament the state of the world or . . . focus on something else entirely. Something small and (as yet, mostly) unregulated: playing with paints, reading a book, walking and talking with friends, watching a sunrise, eating apple cake, going for a swim at dinner time when the pool is dark and quiet.

We denounced the label on wine bottles idea. Wine had afforded us some good conversation and good times (at least those that we could remember) and some of the best writers wrote under the influence. We were willing to assess our own risks and make our own choices, and we said ‘cheers to that’.

In the medical waiting room, I had tried to claim a quiet spot for myself with my book, a small oasis of calm and enjoyment. But I was in there with others trying to do the same, regardless of rules and regulations attempting to curtail them. And so we live, all bumping into each other with our needs and judgements, rules and opinions, sufferings and irritations and joys.

 

RECENTLY READ:

THE DIVORCE by Moa Herngren. Translated by Alice Menzies

Bea is blindsided when Niklas, her husband of 32 years, moves out. She never saw it coming. Her whole life is around him, their twin teen daughters and his family, who is her family, the one she never had. Does losing him mean losing them as well?

There are two sides to every break-up, and this book shows us both, Bea’s and Niklas’s. From Bea’s perspective, we feel for her, see Niklas as cold and callous. And then, with his story, we can also understand, and that is the beauty of this book – the exquisite sadness of a divorce, beautifully told. There are no winners, no losers, only lives changed and then, a new path forward.

 

The Life Lucy Knew by Karma Brown.

I so enjoyed this book. Lucy wakes up in a hospital with a concussion, thinking she’s married to one guy, but nope, she’s actually living with another.

Besides being enjoyable, this book makes you think about how we remember things and whether we can rely on our memories. In fact, everyone remembers differently - ask your siblings.

Bonus: story is set in Toronto and lots of mentions of familiar places.