"Moments Of Glad Grace". And "Wisdomage"
Lately I’ve been wanting to read more memoir (I’m in the process of writing one myself), as well as more Canadian authors. Alison Wearing’s "Moments of Glad Grace " delivered on both.
The story unfolds during a week in Ireland, where Alison and her aging, gay father, Joe, go to search for their genealogical roots. Well, the search is significant to Joe . Alison herself is not that interested in looking through dry, dusty tomes in libraries and archives.
She questions the reasons for wanting to find out about our ancestors. Does it matter whether they were farmers or bakers? How does that knowledge benefit us today? And – what if one discovers that their gr-gr-gr-grandfather was a murderer or a thief or someone unkind? What then?
Throughout the story, a witty and well-crafted memoir, the reader can feel the strength, love and playfulness between adult daughter and aging father, even when they disagree or have philosophical conversations about transcendence. Joe is suffering from Parkinsons, which he fiercely ignores, while Alison quietly notes the things she loves about her father: his giggles, the way he scurries, his complete lack of self-consciousness. Traits that once embarrassed her as a teenager (can’t we all relate to that?) and that she now finds endearing.
It’s a memoir to be savoured – the familial relationship, the thoughts it provokes, the questions it raises. Questions that remain, for the most part, unanswered in the writer and in the reader (but provides lots of fodder for thought on long walks). Do we need to know our forefathers? And by knowing the details of their lives (but not their personalities, their struggles, their stories) – will it change who we are today? What exactly is to be learned? How does it shape our lives?
And then there was this (I'm paraphrasing here and diluting it with my own slant) that arose for me: do we mistake knowledge for wisdom?
Several months ago I entered an online contest in which they asked for a new, made-up word, a definition for it and a sentence in which it was used. This is what I submitted (It didn’t win of course):
Wisdomage - the wisdom that can only be gained from age and courage in facing difficult life situations
Sentence: At seventy-three, after having beaten cancer, buried a husband and a child, she stood in front of the audience confident that her wisdomage qualified her to speak.
Accumulating knowledge is not enough. We need to turn that into wisdom. What is knowledge? What is wisdom? And how do we get from one to the other?
I delight in the question of “why” around knowing ones ancestry. I’m curious about the simple (but profundity) of knowing we are all connected, somehow … not just independent beings. But I appreciate the nudge around knowing the stories told by others ABOUT them, but not their personalities, their stories.
ReplyDeleteI listened to a podcast the other day that held wisdom as knowledge + experience + compassion. (As though it can be simplified so easily).
Thank you for sharing!
Oh I love that definition of wisdom: knowledge+experience+compassion. Thank you!
DeleteI continue to be UTTERLY uninterested in my ancestry. Naturally, I wish I'd had a few more conversations with my grandparents before they died, and would love to hear them talk a bit about their own lives, but that's because I loved them. Beyond them though, I am just not sure how much stories of previous generations can inform me of who I am or tell me about my own story. I KNOW who I am. I am similarly resistant to star signs, tarot and enneagrams. I do wonder if my interest in ancestral connections will increase as I get older, however. No sign yet...
ReplyDeleteI can't guarantee age will increase your interest (I'm proof of that). I have little interest in ancestors who I have not known or seen or listened to. I am interested in the stories of my aunts and uncles because they are great storytellers and I can hear their laughter and witness their tears while they tell their stories. But beyond that, I have no desire to spit into a cup to find out who my ancestors were.
ReplyDeleteI am also intrigued by the question “ Do we need to know our forefathers? And by knowing the details of their lives (but not their personalities, their struggles, their stories) – will it change who we are today? What exactly is to be learned? How does it shape our lives?” I am doing research write now for a book I am thinking of writing re the impact of generational stories on women and that question makes me wonder if a) I should devote a chapter to this, or b) maybe I shouldn’t write this book!
ReplyDeleteI love the word wisdomage! I just finished taking a course on the Science of Wisdom which taught me that I’m really not interested in the science behind wisdom! Much like the question above, facts alone are not enough!
Helen
Thank you for your comments. As an aside, I'm a big fan and follower of your blog (also in the panel to the left as one of the blogs I follow). I'm glad that my post triggered some thoughts and questions, but hopefully you will write your book! Feel free to use the word 'Wisdomage' he he...maybe it will make it one day into the dictionary.
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