Endings

 

As the year 2022 comes to an end, perhaps we begin to feel we should focus on new intentions and resolutions. Gear up for the year ahead. Make it better than the one before and the one before that. Begin a new beginning.

But….

As part of our human nature, we are drawn more towards endings than beginnings. Books with those satisfying last pages, happy-ever-after endings in movies, wanting tasks to be finished, seeing end-results and projects completed. Dishes put away. Laundry done and folded. We crave endings! A cliffhanger at the end of a series upsets us. What? Don’t leave me hanging, give me a proper ending!

Beginnings are more ambiguous, a step into the unknown. And we don’t care much for uncertainty. Isn’t that why we plan everything? Create spreadsheets (aren’t spreadsheets great?), checklists, itineraries, five-year plans? Does anyone still do that - create a five-year plan? I think 2020 may have finally put an end to five-year planning.

Beginnings can create anxiety along with the anticipation. A blank page can be formidable. How to fill it? A new job, a move to a different city, different country.  Starting a new course or routine, taking up a new hobby, setting off on a trip.

Why are we drawn to endings?

While painting, I find myself wanting to get to where the painting is ‘finished’ (even though calling it finished is never easy). I want to see how it turns out. Although I’m enjoying the process, I’m eager to see the result, and yes, I know, I know, that is not the point of it.

Good Endings:

• -          Typing THE END in a story or essay
• -          Finishing up dinner leftovers the next day (and next). You hate wasting food
• -          Closing a book, knowing it will stay with you for days.
• -          Returning home after a long walk; hot soup awaits
• -          A tennis match where the person you were rooting for wins
• -          Touchdown on a transatlantic flight eastwards
• -          Parting ways (pun intended) with root touch-ups and hair colour
• -          The sun sinking into the horizon, the sky a kaleidoscope
• -          A musical crescendo

Not-so-Good Endings (apart from the obvious ones)

• -          Friendships that drift apart with no proper reason or resolution
• -          Reaching into the popcorn bowl thinking there was another handful left. Nope
• -          The empty shampoo bottle in the shower, your hair already wet
• -          A wood fire sputtering out
• -          Pouring that last glass of wine knowing you should have stopped at the one before

And then there are the bitter-sweet endings: bidding farewell, knowing the relationship must end; selling a house that was once filled with good memories, but the time has come to move on; arriving home after a wonderful trip, sad it’s over, but oh how good it feels to come home; October.

Endings. Beginnings. All pieces of the mosaic of our lives, some pieces that we can fit effortlessly into our life story, others more difficult, that require us to adjust and accept.

“In the end, we’ll all become stories” Margaret Atwood.