Rainy Day Reflections

 

Although I love playing tennis, I’m also glad when it gets rained out on a Saturday, and I can spend the whole morning at home. I love slow, lazy mornings. And afternoons. And evenings. Where there’s no rush to get anywhere by a certain time, no decisions or choices to make other than, should I read or nap, or both?

There are a myriad things one can do with an unexpected span of free time at home, but none appeal more than stretched out on the couch, reading, a bowl of snacks within reach. Yes, I’m the type of reader who loves to snack while turning the pages. Also love to snack while watching TV or working at my desk. I’m a snacker.

Anyway, this post was going to be about Rainy-Day Reflections, so I must reflect on something. That something for the day being: Does there come a time in your life when you must give up on dreams you’ve held onto for a long time, and find new ones to pursue?

Blasphemy, I know! We’re encouraged to keep following our dreams, never give up, reach for the stars. But what if you’re so intent on pursuing those old dreams that may no longer fit and you miss out on new ones that may be much more enjoyable and attainable? How do you know when to let go and head off in a new direction? How do you silence the pesky inner voice that says, ‘If you stop now, you’re admitting defeat’?

How do you know? Perhaps you never fully know; you can only rely on your gut instinct, the good cousin of that same inner voice, the one that asks, “Is there something else you’d really love to do?”

I think we hold onto our earlier dreams because they are as much part of our identity and personality as are our jobs and hobbies. Some of these truly are, and these are the ones we don’t want to abandon. But there are others that were dreamed up in youth (or maybe imposed on us by others), when our lives and bodies were different, when WE were different.

Am I going to climb another mountain? Most likely not. I can (and have) let go of that dream now. Hiking up mountains may no longer be who I am today. I may still be able to walk long distances, do another Camino (maybe). But scramble down into canyons, up mountain sides? No. I know there are 70, 80 and even 90-year-olds who are performing incredible physical feats like running marathons. But I’m not into that kind of physical endurance. Also, I dislike running. A lot. I tend to gravitate only towards the kind of physical activities that I enjoy.

Which brings me full circle to my tennis being rained out and the spark of gladness it ignited within me. Perhaps one of my greatest joys is to be home, away from the madding crowd, dreaming about dreams, watching raindrops chase each other down the window, a book and snacks within easy reach, a nap on the horizon.

There are other dreams I’m still holding on to, because I still believe in them. There are new ones I’ve added along the way in the past few years. One can change the dreams to pursue, but one can never stop dreaming.

George Benard Shaw: 

“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything”.

Herman Hesse:

 “Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.”