Random Acts of Inconsideration and Kindness

 

We’re not beacons of wisdom just because we’re older. To prove that my post today is about small things that sometimes occupy my mind.

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 Is it a sign of aging when we become increasingly irritated by the thoughtless behaviour of others? Does it shrink our world to notice and be annoyed by such things?

It’s Saturday morning and I arrive at my club for my weekly doubles match. I walk towards the little bay area where my locker is situated. I know what to expect. It’s always the same. Strewn on the floor around my locker, jutting out into the hallway sits a huge gym bag, shoes, a coffee cup, various bits and pieces, towels, all in a sprawling, unsightly heap on the floor. Across the aisle, also spilling out into the narrow hallway sits a similar pile. I grit my teeth and try to shove aside a portion with my foot as I sidle up to my locker.

The two owners of the gigantic piles of possessions, saunter from the shower area, towels wrapped around their waists, chatting at high volume.

The woman whose paraphernalia invades my space says, “Oh is that your locker? Well, I’m not in your way then.” She is. But unfazed, she reaches into her bag and continues chatting to her friend.

I fume silently but say nothing. The two of them don’t have paid-for permanent lockers in this area and should be using the free day-locker area. Yet, every Saturday morning they scatter their possessions in this spot as though they own it, because it’s convenient, a closer walk to the showers. So what if their humongous bags cause tripping hazards or block others access to their lockers? Not their problem, right?

Why don’t I say something? Something non-confrontational, but what? “Why don’t you use the day lockers?” Or: “Someone could trip over those gym bags.”

Instead, I silently seethe. Why not speak up? To avoid confrontation? (Probably). Because they’re a lot bigger than I am? (And there’s two of them and only one me). Because I don’t want to appear like an old busybody, complaining about trivial things? (Also true).

The inconsideration of people towards others sharing a public space bothers me. And you see it everywhere – on commuter trains where people splay their arms and legs and dump their bags on seats; at grocery stores where they fail to return their shopping carts to the corral and wind or an incline causes a stray cart to slam into your car door; on the streets where they careen into you because their eyes are glued to their phones.

Is it better to take the high road and ignore acts of thoughtless behaviour? Just accept it because it’s trivial and so many worse things are happening? Does one gently ask them to reconsider or simply mutter under one’s breath and carry on?

It’s a tiny dilemma, happening daily everywhere. And yet, I remind myself, also happening are small acts of thoughtfulness and random kindnesses. It shrinks our world if we notice the former but not the latter.

And so, I was on the lookout to witness small acts of kindness. One arrived soon after, directed squarely towards me.

I was at the dollar store buying a couple of packages of elastic hairbands, the kind that constantly get lost and need replacing. The store had a closing out sale and was busy. Two harried women were at the tills. When I got up to the cashier and she rang up my two purchases, it came to $3.05. I pulled out my credit card to tap but she said credit was only accepted for purchases over $5.00. Not knowing if I had cash (who carries cash these days?), I dug into my wallet and pulled out a Toonie and a Loonie.

“I only have $3. I’ll have to pass on one of these,” I said, setting one purchase aside.

Without a word, she dug into her own wallet and added a nickel.

I was blown away. I thanked her twice for her kindness. She said nothing, anxious to serve the next person in line and get on with her job.

Small acts everywhere, inconsiderate ones and kind ones, both sending out ripples.